Apollo's bad day
by Miss Shallott
Summary: This is a re-telling of a favourite myth of mine, featuring Hermes tormenting his half-brother and Apollo having a terrible week.


In a word, Apollo was pissed.

Not just annoyed or missed or even angry, but pissed.

And for him, that was one step away from furious.

Now, Apollo was normally a very sunny guy. Literally and figuratively. Sure, the sun god was prone to jealous fits, dark spells and being a downright pain, but he was usually very happy and that was why all the gods and goddesses (Except Hera) liked him.

But today they stayed far away from him. That's how angry he was.

For one thing, he was having the worst week ever. On Sunday Artemis stood him up for stupid Orion (for the fiftieth time!). On Monday a wood nymph rejected him. Wood nymphs were whores and would date anyone, but apparently Apollo wasn't good enough. On Tuesday he tried to talk to Artemis about spending more time together, but she accidentally shot him in the foot. On Wednesday he went back to talk to Artemis but saw her making out with Orion. That pretty much ruined the rest of his week. So to make himself feel better, on Thursday he tried to get a date. But the girl rejected him so he turned her into a tree. That made him feel a little better, so he went home on Thursday almost back to his usual happy self. But it was Friday today, and he was mad again.

He had woken up, feeling great, to find all of his cows MISSING!

"UGH!" Apollo screamed at the sky, half hoping that his father would hear him. "How could this get any worse?" It started to rain. "Oh great."

Apollo looked around the pasture for signs of his cattle, but all he found was mud. And cow poop. His clothes were getting wet, he was getting angry and his cows would never be found. Just as he started to go in, he found small baby footprints on the ground. They looked as if they were moving very fast. He stopped to think, wiping the rain off his brow.

"Hmm…it would have taken someone really fast to make these footprints. Who do I know whose really fast?" After a few minutes of thinking, he had it. "HERMES!"

That dumb baby had taken his cows. Apollo, charming and powerful god on the sun had been robbed by a baby! Apollo stomped all the way back to his house, and grabbed his coat. "I'm going to show that brat places the sun don't shine!" He hissed through gritted, chattering teeth, as he was soaked to the bone from the rain. After drying himself off, he went out to his stable. "At least my horses weren't stolen." He said to himself.

He quickly mounted his horses and sped off to the house of Maia, Herme's mother. However, Apollo was about to learn an important lesson. Gold, even special god gold, rusts really quickly under magic rain. The wheels ground to a halt and Apollo went flying from his chariot. The horses seized the opportunity and ran away. Apollo lay on the ground, blond hair covered in dirt. His hands and knees were scraped and he had broken a toe. "For the second time this week, too." Muttered Apollo as he got up and dusted himself off. He looked up. "At least the rain stopped." Apollo limped down the road, pain lacing his every step. "I don't know how this could get any worse!" He exclaimed, stomping the ground. Which was a bad idea, because it sent pain straight up through his leg. And then it started to rain.

"Great." Muttered Apollo, limping down the road. "This is going to be a long day."

Meanwhile, Maia was unaware of anything going on. She simply sat at her table, making sure the house was clean. After all, you never know when Zeus could stop by. She hummed a spring song to herself as she wiped off the table. "Perfect. Now where is my little boy Hermes?"

As if answering her call, Hermes walked into the house at that very moment. Maia ran to him and scooped him up into her arms. "My baby! You were out so long in the rain! What were you doing out in the fields?"

"Nothing." Lied the young boy. "What's for dinner, mom?"

"Always eating, you're going to be a big strong man some day." She gently kissed his nose. "I have some bread in the cupboard. Do you want me to put some cheese on it?"

"Yes please!" Hermes sat down at the table, wide youthful eyes glowing at his mother. He loved her dearly, even if she was very naïve.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it dear." Maia rushed to open the door, hoping to see Zeus. Instead she saw a very wet and angry Apollo, clothes dripping and hair in his face. She frowned. "You're not here from Zeus, are you?"

"No." growled Apollo. "I am not here from MY father."

"Okay. Do you want to take a message from me to Zeus?"

"No."

"Maybe some fruit?"

"Look nymph," yelled Apollo, dangerously close to loosing his temper. "I am NOT here for Zeus, okay? I am here for your son."

"My son? Does Zeus want to see him?"

"UGH!" Apollo pushed past Maia into the kitchen, where Hermes was trying to hide, look innocent, and look smug all at the same time. "OKAY YOU LITTLE THIEF! I WANT TO KNOW WHERE MY COWS ARE, AND I WANT TO KNOW NOW!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Hermes replied, ignoring the angry sun god's eyes.

Maia looked shocked. "My son couldn't have taken your cows, he's barely a day old."

"And he's walking! Is stealing too far off?" Apollo looked deep into the kid's eyes, looking for some acknowledgement or at least some guilt. But there was none. Apollo threw his hands up in anger. "I HATE THIS! MY WEEK SUCHS AND NOW MY COWS ARE IN THE HANDS OF A BABY!" He grabbed Hermes by his small tunic collar. "Look kid, if you don't take me to my cows right now, I'm going to make you wish you were dead."

"Then I'll tell dad." The child responded haughtily. Apollo grinned slightly.

"DAD doesn't look to kindly on thieves." Apollo gave Hermes his most dangerous look. The child sighed.

"Fine, they're out in the fields. But I like the cows, I want to keep them!" Hermes whined.

"So? They're my cows, I bought them fair and square." Apollo dropped the kid and went to the door.

"Wait!" Yelled Hermes.

"What?"

"What if we do a trade? I got something I think you'll like a lot better." Hermes smirked at the older god, who turned away from the door.

"Oh really? And what is this thing?" Apollo asked. Hermes ran out of the room and grabbed a small tortoise shell with sinew strings attached to it.

"I made this yesterday. If you do this," He pulled one of the strings, "It makes a pretty noise."

Apollo smiled and relaxed. Something about the sound made him so…happy. "Let me try it!" Apollo grabbed the shell and began to strum. The music sounded beautiful, the best he'd ever heard. And just like that, the sun god was in love. "I'll take it!"

"Great!" Hermes flung his arms around his half brother. "I'm sure you'll make good use out of it."

"Oh I'm so glad you're getting along!" Maia squealed. "I'll make you both some cheese bread!"

Apollo smiled as he glanced down at his newfound friend and his new love. Maybe this week wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
